


paper promises

by eledhiel13



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Team Green, beginnings of wizard!fjord, veering off au bc i doubt fjord will go this way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 09:00:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20273341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eledhiel13/pseuds/eledhiel13
Summary: Nott watches Fjord, after his break with his patron. He misses his power, it's clear. But it gets her thinking: why should he have to rely on anyone else for it?





	paper promises

**Author's Note:**

> tiny little what-if, mostly because i don't really see travis taking fjord in this direction. but i can dream, yeah?

The idea comes to Nott slowly.

Fjord surprises them, probably himself most of all, in the fight with the terrible hot-cold worm creatures. For all of the shit Nott gives him about his strength, he holds firm when the awful thing tries to carry off Beau. She doesn’t think twice about casting her own spell on it, but it gives her a second of pause. 

She keeps an eye on Fjord as she completes her spell and the stupid creature drops Beau, and wonders what he would have cast if he could. Would he have rushed up and used his booming teleportation spell, when it first grabbed Jester? Would he have dropped that angry gorilla creature onto it?

But his strength is more than enough, today. Nott’s proud enough to even bestow a compliment, which feels all sorts of weird and she resolves never to do so again.

But she watches his face later when Jester, unthinking, suggests he cast an illusion spell to get the ice flecks. Fjord doesn’t say a word in response, his expression shuttering. He makes an effort to wave it off, to appear unbothered. 

But Nott can tell, now that she’s learning to read the real insecurities underneath. He does seem genuinely glad to be free of Uk’otoa (Uk’otoa, she repeats silently to herself) and all of the choking strings attached to its gifts. And his strength was enough, today.

But it won’t be against a dragon. 

And Nott watches him in the archive, between pages of her alchemy book. For a fellow that doesn’t read very much, Fjord is devouring the book about gods and pantheons. Nott frowns. She’s seen him soaking up Caduceus’s words like some kind of large duckling lately, gathering everything he can learn about the Wildmother. She can’t help but imagine he’s looking for a new source of power, be it from her or from someone else.

Nott bites her lip. She’s been in the thick of it with Fjord before, she knows his impulsivity well. What if the next patron he seeks turns out to be just as bad? 

Or, what if they take his powers away again, like Uk’otoa did? How many times can Fjord stomach that?

Nott huffs and sneaks a sip from her flask. She returns to her book, but dwells on her own spellcasting abilities in the back of her mind. Abilities that have no source but her own intelligence, no strings attached. She’ll have to think about this.

\--

“Caleb,” she says some time later. They sit together one morning in the quiet dining room of the Xhorhaus, her scarfing her plate of meats and him sipping some kind of tea. Nott’s not sure what kind, but it smells floral and tickles her nose. It’s probably from Caduceus’s garden upstairs.

“Mmmhmm,” he says, flipping through a book. It looks like the one he received from Reani, but it’s hard to tell. His thin fingers almost caress the pages.

“Do you remember, back when you first started,” Nott pauses, clears her throat and glances around to be sure no one else is in earshot, “teaching me magic?”

“I remember everything,” Caleb says. He looks up enough to give her a warm smirk and turns another page.

“What did you…well, uhm,” Nott says, chewing more of her lip than her bacon as she tries to put her thoughts in order. “What made you decide to start?”

Caleb frowns at her, the expression a bit contemplative. He puts his book face down on the table. “Well,” he says slowly. “You are very quick and clever, and I had thought you had a talent for it. And remember, you asked me.”

“Yes, but you could have said no,” Nott says, feeling a bit of heat rise across her cheeks.

Caleb just scoffs, as if the idea of denying her anything is absurd. Nott gives him a pleased little grin as she chomps more bacon.

“I was thinking more of, ah, components?” she says at length. Caleb tilts his head. “Materials, so forth. You gave me a few little things to cast with, when we started. Did you give me things you’d needed, that you were using?” 

“Some,” Caleb admits. “Most of which were for spells I had no interest in practicing. Some were leftovers, some were extras I picked up.” He regards her quietly for a long moment. Nott shoves more of her breakfast into her teeth and doesn’t meet his gaze. “If I may ask, why?”

“Just curious,” she says, syllables mashing together as she chews. Caleb watches her a bit longer, but the draw of a new book must be a louder voice than his own curiosity, so he lets the subject drop.

\--

They’re wandering by a bookshop—tiny, just like the town they’re passing through—and this time Nott watches Fjord more closely. He readily agrees to pair up with Beau to scout the information they’re after, not giving the dusty stacks of books a second glance as they depart with Jester. Caduceus folds his long legs to sit in a meditative stance under the tree just outside and nods to them, so Nott leaves him be and follows Caleb into the little maze of shelves.

“Caleb,” she says as he begins scouring the spines lined up in haphazard rows.

“Mmmhmm,” he says, selecting and discarding three books in quick succession. He makes a happy noise as he picks up a fourth and begins paging through it.

“I don’t have a spell book,” she says, eyes fixed on the almost imperceptible lump under his coat that she knows houses his.

Caleb stops and fixes his full attention on her. He gives her a small one shouldered shrug as he nods. “Ja, that is correct.”

“Calianna didn’t, either,” Nott says. “Does that mean not everyone that wants to learn magic needs one?”

Caleb hums again. “Calianna is, I think, different. I would guess perhaps her magic is something she was born with.” Nott’s eyes go wide and Caleb nods. “It happens, sometimes. It is not common.”

“Oh,” Nott says. 

“And you,” Caleb goes on, his smile turning fond again. “Yours seems to be in your head, ja? How did you learn the spells I taught you?”

“I memorized them,” Nott says, frowning.

“As I said, you a very sharp.” Caleb raps her on the head with a gentle knuckle. “But not everyone is so lucky. Magic is not your primary focus, correct? When it is, there becomes too much to remember all of it. Even for me.”

Nott says nothing as she turns that over in her mind, long enough for Caleb to go back to his search. 

“What if,” she says at length, once he’s got a neat little stack going and looks to be winding down. “What if someone wants to learn, but they don’t like books?” Caleb turns such an incredulous and deeply offended look on her that she dissolves into laughter, flapping a hand at him. “Oh, never mind.”

After Caleb gets over the insulting concept that someone wouldn’t like books, he gives her a thoughtful look. “I remember you asking about components, before.” Nott nods, a bit warily. She’s not quite sure she’s ready to share her plan with anyone else yet. Especially if it’s something Fjord wouldn’t be receptive to himself. Caleb continues as he adds another little book to his stack, “Speaking of Calianna, she gifted me with something very special. Something that would replace some of my own components.”

Nott perks up, feeling her ears flick up with her body’s instinct. She tries to ignore the sensation with practiced determination. 

“If you were looking to expand your selection, perhaps I could share the things I do not need,” Caleb says and Nott grins at him. That would help her quite a bit, now that she is starting to learn more broader magics.

And it might help her new project, as well. “I may take you up on that, Caleb.”

\--

Nott keeps her eyes peeled as they travel place to place. But if the look and feel of Caleb’s book—not to mention the pages and ink that go into it—is any indication, she won’t find a suitable candidate in any old secondhand bookshop.

It’s not until they make their eventual return to Zadash that she finally has a lead. She follows at Caleb’s heels as he beelines for the Invulnerable Vagrant, and puts in an order to stock up on his enchanted inks and paper as expected. While he’s distracted, she makes a subtle request to one of the other Pumat Sols to obtain a small and nondescript little book, fresh and empty. She has him add to the ink and paper order, quietly, and manages to stuff the materials under her cloak with Caleb none the wiser.

She has to wait a few more days for the perfect opportunity, until Beau is distracted making inquiries with the Cobalt Soul and Caleb tags along with her to their library. Jester and Caduceus are off on some wild goose chase, one that Nott would normally join in an instant. She thinks back to her and Jester’s last private adventure in Zadash with relish. But she shakes her head and resists the temptation, finally finding a moment to corner Fjord. 

He sits by himself at a corner table in the Leaky Tap, tracing idle scratches in the wooden surface as he nurses a mug. Nott watches him for a few seconds. Even now, the moments when he thinks he’s alone are when he is most transparent. 

Fjord’s shoulders are slumped, his spine folded, and he leans heavily on the table top. He’s been in a better mood lately, with his new sword supplementing his repertoire, but to Nott he still seems subdued when it comes to magics. She suspects it’s because the Star Razor’s power is still just that, embedded in the sword. Without it, Fjord is back to square one and still down a patron or any other source of magic. 

He’s doing better, but still seems like he feels off and incomplete. 

Nott knows the feeling.

She thinks about the closed off expression he still gets whenever someone slips up and suggests a spell he used to know. She checks to make sure her disguise spell is still in place, steels herself, and marches forward out of the shadows. 

Nott takes the seat next to him, tipping back her flask like she’s got nothing on her mind. Fjord spares her a glance, and she watches him out of the corner of her eye as she drinks. He sits up straighter and makes an effort to lighten his expression. Nott finishes her sip and puts her flask on the table, regarding him openly now.

Fjord gives her a vacant smile and goes back to pretending he’s just enjoying his drink.

Nott scowls. She pokes the hilt of the Star Razor. “How magic is this thingy, anyway?”

“Hmm? Oh,” Fjord frowns, batting her hand away. “Magical enough, I suppose. Why?”

She shakes her head, his natural accent still tickling her ears weirdly. “Magical enough to cast through? Isn’t that what you did with your old evil sword?”

“The falchion itself wasn’t evil,” Fjord says with a roll of his eyes. Then he pauses. “At least, I think. Maybe.”

“Mmmhmm.” Nott draws herself up and fixes him with a stern gaze. “Evil. It stared at me, Fjord.”

“It did not,” Fjord says, as if swords having eyes hanging off of them is normal. 

“This one is automatically better,” Nott says, infusing her voice with her best haughty know-it-all tone. But then she falters. “Aside from the dragon lair part. That was ridiculous.” Fjord snorts but says nothing. Nott notices a little shadow appear between his brows and goes on quickly. “Hell of a story to tell, though. I think it was worth it for that alone. I can’t wait to see Luc’s face when I tell him what Mommy did.” 

One corner of Fjord’s mouth twitches into a half-smile around his tusk, but he still looks a bit troubled. Nott can tell, from what she’s observed of him, that Fjord feels guilty dragging the team into something so dangerous. But in her estimation, it’s barely on the top five list of the stupidest things the Mighty Nein has ever done. 

She’s not here to convince Fjord of that, though. She has her own mission.

“Well,” she says, drawing the little book out from under her cloak and sliding it over the table. “Even if you can’t cast with it, there’s other options.” 

Fjord doesn’t raise his gaze from his tankard. This time, his laugh sounds darker and a bit more depressed. “Can’t cast at all, you mean.”

Nott huffs. She jabs a finger at the book and shoves it so its spine stabs Fjord in the elbow. 

“Ow,” Fjord yelps, probably more startled than hurt, and Nott laughs. 

“If you get your head out of your ass, we can work on fixing that,” she says, poking him with the book again. 

Fjord frowns and snatches the book away from her, flipping it open. “It’s blank,” he reports, voice flat. 

“Obviously,” Nott replies, performing a theatrical eye roll. She pulls out the little inkwell and some enchanted sheets next, setting them carefully next to his elbow. Fjord’s eye go wide, flicking between her and the materials in a rapid back-and-forth.

“Nott,” he starts, his voice so soft and disbelieving that she can’t handle it. She cuts him off with a sharp wave, pointing imperiously at the ink.

“If you’re a good student,” she says, keeper her nose in the air, “then maybe I’ll consent to teach you some magic. Caleb knows more than I do, but I’m not inflicting you on him unless I know you’re up for the task.” She redirects her finger into his face, almost jabbing him in the nose. “So study hard!”

Fjord sighs heavily and shakes his head, but his smile already looks much more real.

“And no one can take this away from you,” she adds in a much softer voice. She can’t quite meet his eyes, the depth of this sudden sincerity almost too much to handle, but she hears his breath catch. 

Just as soft, he says, “Nott. Thank you.”

Now it is too much. Nott makes an effort to shake it off, busying herself pulling a bit of extra fleece from her component pouch, and says, “Don’t thank me yet. We’ve yet to see how terrible a student you are.”

Fjord laughs, and Nott ignores how it sounds a tiny bit shaky. But he draws the inkwell close and uncaps it, arranging the blank enchanted pages and adopting the most obnoxiously studious posture he can. Nott rolls her eyes and pulls out a little extra copper wire among other items, and begins her first foray as a teacher.


End file.
